I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
