You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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