sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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