If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
