But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
