you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
