Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
