I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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