I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you inspire me to be a worse person
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
