Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
