fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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