I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You can't just leave with hair like that
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
