Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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