Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize