Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
