Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
