If that was your dad, he is hot
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
