You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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