some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize