apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize