Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
whose parrot is this?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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