I want to make a zoo with you.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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