NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
