everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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