i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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