people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
