Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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