just come out here and I will go home with you...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
