i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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