Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dignity is for republicans.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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