i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
