i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
