You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
