people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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