It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
