I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
false alarm, still single
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
