haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
