Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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