I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
