So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
