The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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