i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
