Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
