Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
