He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Is it penis luge time yet?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
