lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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