I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
