So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
