ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
