dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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