apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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