I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
