Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
