He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
