his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
