Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
