There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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