sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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