he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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