I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
