You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
