Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
