I cannot find my penis.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i came on her dog
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
