Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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