he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
