Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
