tell your sister to shave her snatch
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
no you cant smoke seaweed
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
