i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
