They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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