i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize